And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
