I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
