i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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