I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
sarcasm needs its own font
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
