I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
