my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
