Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
