He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
