the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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