He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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