TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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