As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
