I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
