Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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