can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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