It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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