Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
