I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
