What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
