I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
And then my night got REAL pukey
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
