Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
