you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
