U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
