you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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