Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
