the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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