I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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