You work out of a Hotel?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
