he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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