I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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