Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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