I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
