when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
