you traded sex for a burrito?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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