Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
