Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
