Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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