I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
