I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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