high people should be assigned attendants
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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