So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
