she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
