I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
