he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
