My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
