As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
