Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
