you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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