omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
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