Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
