Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
