Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
