I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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