its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
