everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
