I am puke
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
