I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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