Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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