This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
