Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
