omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize