He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
