So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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