Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
