We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
